Glorious Vampire Buffoonery!

Brian is the type of character I always enjoy playing. The British are unbeatable at producing the type of floundering underdog, baffled by life’s bizarre and terrifying insanity, who stumbles bravely along and makes it to the finish line despite all signs to the contrary. Brian, gangling, useless, and unmotivated car-salesman elevated to monster-hunter on the Cornish coast. This is a book that is utterly unashamed to enjoy the ride all the way, and I knew from the first that I wanted to voice it. If you like things silly, sit back and listen to Brian trying not-so-bravely or competently, trying desperately not to die.

When Helsing XII, the latest in the long and illustrious line of brave demon-hunters dies in combat, no-one would have expected his ring of power to be handed down to an idiot.

Least of all said idiot; Brian Trelawney, the most hapless car salesman in the whole of Cornwall.

With no redeeming features bar his towering height, Brian finds himself thrust into a strange and often terrifying world of vampires, banshees and all other Things That Go Bump In The Night. Trained, after a fashion, by the eccentric Masters, and equipped with strange weapons, Brian is sent into battle as the unwitting savior of mankind.

Accompanied by his friend Neil, a man oddly enough far more appropriate for the role of Helsing, Brian must bumble his way through his first mission; placating a terrifying banshee whose keening wailing is keeping the residents of Bodmin from their beauty sleep.

Warning: This book contains copious harsh language and mind-numbing stupidity, all wrapped up in a crunchy supernatural shell.

Now, try a sample chapter:

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Thank you for listening!